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My heart no longer beats the same, there is a heaviness, I can feel
every beat. I found out about my father’s death while I was in the
Dominican Republic. When I got off of the phone with my mother, I got
down on my knees and I prayed. I thanked God for allowing my father to
live such a wonderful life. I thanked God for allowing my father to do
everything he wanted to do. I thanked God for allowing my father to
leave this earth doing something he loved – driving his fire engine red
Viper.
My father loved life. He would have never wanted to be sick, he would
have never wanted people to take care of him. My father died at the peak
of his life. We spoke about it so many times, he would not have wanted
it any other way.
I came to work with my father in his weight reduction practice three and
a half years ago. I left the area for eleven years after college. After a
short stint in corporate America, I fairly quickly became an instrumental
part of several start up companies. I was learning how to become an
entrepreneur and a leader – I would constantly consult with my father on
my decisions.
It was while I was living in Los Angeles that my father asked me to come
back home and work with him. At the time, my sister had been working
with my father for nine years. But, Vicki’s passion is horses. She is an
excellent equestrian. So when I returned to Washington, Vicki was able
to follow her dreams. My father had peace of mind and was proud, knowing
that Vicki was happy being with her horses.
Working side by side with my father was amazing. He and I got along so
well, we never fought, we never bickered and we never argued. More than
a “father / daughter” relationship, we had an extremely high level of
respect for one another. We thought so much alike. Or as he used to say,
“I kept thinking like him.”
We talked about how important it is to live for today. That is why he had
his Ferrari racecar, that is why he went on his vacations and that is
why he built my mother her dream home.
He would tell me almost every day how happy he was that I was there with
him. He told me that I was able to lift so many burdens and
responsibilities off of his shoulders. He emailed me on one of his
vacations that it was the first time that he was truly able to relax
during his days off because he knew I was there. I know that he was very
proud of me.
I always said that I would never trade being with my father for anything
in the world. It is really indescribable how we felt for one another. If
you ever saw us together, you could tell that our relationship was very
unique and very special to both of us. He was my best friend.
We would laugh every day. My father was hilarious, and even I picked up
a little bit of his sense of humor. At the office, Mrs. Leavy, who has
been working with my father since he started his family practice in the
early 70’s, the patients and I loved listening to his stories and his
jokes. And I could always get him to crack up at the comedy show that is
my dating life.
Our patients really loved talking to my father – well most of the time.
Except for the days that they were “On his list,” or when they would
say, “Please, I don’t want to see your father, let me wait until next
week when I’ve lost some weight.” But, after my father would talk with
them they usually left with a newfound focus, they felt uplifted and
they had a smile on their face.
On the last day that I saw my father alive, my friend Beverly and I had
gone to the Omega House in Washington to drop off some canned goods.
Three of the Ques started talking to us and one of them said, “This is
Brother Beale’s daughter. You know he pledged in ’62 at Alpha Chapter
and was Basileus his senior year. He is a charter member of Tau Pi
Chapter in Columbia. Her father is a legend.”
Almost every where I go in Washington and mention my name, people always
say, “You’re Dr. Beale’s daughter? Tell your father I promise I’m coming
back to lose my weight, but please tell him not to fuss.” It’s like
being the daughter of a famous person.
So many people have told me how much they will miss his laugh, his
spirit, his advice and his compassion. I know it is not just my family,
we have all lost a family member.
My father was the backbone of our family – he took care of all us in so
many ways. At the time of his death he was in the midst of planning a
birthday party for my grandfather Dr. Robert S. Beale, Sr. For yesterday
was his 93rd birthday.
Taking care of us was a responsibility that he was honored to have. But
once I got back, I started taking care of him in very subtle ways. For
example, my father is affectionately known as “The Fat Doctor”. He also
had high blood pressure. But every day on the sly he would get an order
of bacon and eat it all in 40 seconds. I knew I could not stop him from
ordering the bacon, so instead I would rush into his office and eat half
of it so it would not be quite so bad.
We also have prerecorded music that plays in the office. On one of the
tapes is the song “Atomic Dog”. Every single time that song came on he
would start stepping. I would have to say, “Daddy please, it is way too
early in the morning for you to be jumping up and down.” And he would
say, “My little girl is always looking after her Paw.”
He really loved his life, but he loved my mother more than anything in
the world. My mother has class, style, grace and beauty, that even in
all of my 38 years, I still do not quite have. But, I am always trying. He
said he only knew of two real life angels, one is my late grandmother and
the other is my mother.
My parents met as sophomores at Howard University. My mother was
pledging Alpha Kappa Alpha, and my father Omega Psi Phi. Their deans of
pledges were dating so the ivies and the lamps were always together.
They got married at age 20 and spent 42 amazing years together. They had
such a good time. And even though it would not be my father’s first
choice to go to the ballet or my mother’s first choice to go to Bike
Week in Myrtle Beach, they shared a lifetime of experiences.
I love going to Howard U's Homecoming with my parents. I would sing with my
mother and the other Alpha Chapter AKAs, as I carefully watch my
father stepping with the Ques, hoping that he would not over do it. But
after this year’s Homecoming he said he was going to be is such good
shape next year, that he was going to take his shirt off in the circle.
I am not sure if any of us would be ready for that.
I told my mother the other day, that she had something in those 42 years
with my father that I will never have. Their marriage is a blessing.
I learned so much from my father. This year we wrote and published a
book together based on his weight loss practice. Now his vision will
live forever in print.
He is no longer physically with me, but I am ready to carry on his
legacy. It was never a thought that I would shut down the office either
permanently or temporarily. I was at the office bright and early at
6:30am this Tuesday morning and we stayed open during regular business
hours throughout the week. Ms. Leavy suggested that we close on Friday
though out of respect for my father. Except for legal holidays, my
father never closed the office, so this one day in honor of his memory
was okay.
Most people could not believe I was there in the office this week - it
never even crossed my mind that I wouldn’t be. But Vicki, Kevin and my
grandmother stayed with and took care of my mother, so I did not have to
worry as much.
Being with our patients this week has been great. Many of them did not
know of my father’s passing until they walked in the office. But now
every day I will get to talk to people about how wonderful my father was
and how much he touched their lives.
Since his death, I have not been angry, I have not questioned why – I
have been at an amazing level of peace knowing that my father was an
extremely happy man and lived a full life.
Although I am very sad, and I allow myself to cry freely, I know God has
directed my life at least since I was 16 years old to bring me to this
exact place. I actually knew this well before my father’s passing - that
me being so close to him in these past years was God’s plan.
So, Daddy, I am not scared, I am not afraid. I know that a part of you
lives on inside of me. I have your strength, determination, compassion
and courage. I know that you are proud of me.
Daddy I will leave you today with the words that are printed in the
dedication of our book:
“I dedicate this book to my father Robert S. Beale, Jr., M.D. for his
unconditional love and support throughout my life and my career. Daddy,
I owe all of my success to you. Love, Lisa.”
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